aprilmarch (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aprilmarch) wrote2020-11-02 11:21 pm
aprilmarch) wrote2020-11-02 11:21 pm
02 - Sponge Mascot
Item Number 0023204 "Sponge Being"
Object is 9cm tall sponge in the shape of a stylized human being. Extensive testing has shown object to have the exact same characteristics as an ordinary, commercially produced washing sponge. Object's anomalous characteristics include the ability to move and speak, and it seems to be sentient. It is also capable of exuding detergent from its body and it can move along any surface it intends to clean as if being pushed by an outside force; it is seemingly unable to move in this fashion unless intending to clean something.
Object was found in the house of [REDACTED], a 96-year old Japanese immigrant living in [REDACTED], Paraná, after her death in 2010. No futher information about the object's origin has been found.
The object is capable of vocalizing and speaks fluent Japanese. It appears to have slightly below average intelligence; it has never been possible to test it, as it refuses to perform any tests to measure it, as well as learning other languages. It has learned a few Portuguese sentences from DPA's scientists, and knows to use it when no Japanese-speaking researchers are available. Noticeably, it speaks those sentences without any accent, but it does not seem able to produce otherwise fluent sentences.
During captivity, the object displayed an obsession with cleanness, desiring to spend as much time as possible cleaning objects. It became despondend and aggressive if not allowed to do so. It was capable of cleaning large rooms and objects by itself, using its anomalous abilities, if given a source of water (a bucket was often enough). Curiously, it expressed great joy at washing dishes, but it was difficult for it to do so, as it could not hold dishes and cutlery in a proper way by itself. (It was, however, very efficient at doing it if a human could separated and hold the dishes.)
This object is currently presumed at large.
Interviews follow. All interviews were conducted in Japanese. Please keep in mind that some of these notes have been translated from Portuguese transcripts. The original audio is available.
Interview: 12/10/2010
Researcher: Good morning. How are you?
Object: Greetings, human. I am a hero from the sponge planet, came to save your kind. Are you beset by dishonorable filth?
R: In what manner?
O: Terrible creatures from dirt planet have long been attacking our peaceful realm. It is my duty to prevent them from winning this great war. If you but provide me with some water, I shall assist you.
R: What can you do?
O: I can provide all sorts of cleaning services.
R: Is there some thing you want or need?
O: My life is dedicated to my mission. I need but assistance to complete it.
Interview: 12/10/2018
R: Good morning. We're just performing another routine check-up. How are things?
O: It is all good as usual, human. I am proud to do my part in the war against the filth.
R: That is good to hear. I assume nothing has changed since our last conversation.
O: No. Well. No.
R: Is there something you wish to say?
O: No. There is not. I was merely being weak.
R: Please, do tell me. I'm curious. You have never shown any signs of discomfort before.
O: A warrior never shows any discomfort, human. My efforts are neverending.
R: It would fill me with happiness if you were to tell me what troubles you. I promise I will not do anything about it unless you agree.
O: Well... I must admit, I miss my family on Sponge Planet.
R: Do you wish to return?
O: Never! Not while the war on dirt is not won, and, sadly, I doubt that will happen during my lifetime.
R: If there is anything we can do to help, please tell us.
O: I cannot take time from my cleaning efforts, human.
R: That is true, but this entire complex is immaculate.
O: Not immaculate! Filth cralws inside it everyday! The work is neverending!
R: Well, true, but it is quite clean. It would not become dirty if you were to spend some time trying to communicate with your... planet.
O: That... might be correct.
R: I will speak to my supervisors.
Notes: Over the next few days, the object was allowed to use radio and astronomy equipment in the complex to attempt to contact its 'home planet'. Analysis suggest it was looking at Earth's Lagrange point L3. It spent roughly an hour a day attempting contact, being closely monitored, but to no avail.
Interview: 19/10/2018
R: Good morning. How are you today?
O: I am quite confused. I could not find my family.
R: Did you not estabilish a protocol to communicate?
O: There was no need for that. However, you misunderstade my aprehension. I could not find my planet at all.
R: What do you mean?
O: While I was down here, with my head down at my work, the dishonorable dirt monsters must have changed their dire tactics. They destroyed their planet.
R: You have no proof of that.
O: Nothing else makes sense. But we shall win. If I survived, there must be more. We must win this battle.
Notes: Shortly afterwards, the objects' diposition appeared to improve, but it started to request being allowed to leave the complex. When said requests were repeatedly denied, it attempted escape on 30/10/2018. Fortunately, its inquiries had led to a search-and-retrieve protocol for its expected escape (nicknamed Gingerbread Protocol) that was succesfully executed, retrieving the object before it left the complex ground.
Interview: 30/10/2018, shortly after the failed escape attempt
O: What was that outside? What was all that?
R: Why did you attempt to escape?
O: Answer my question first! What was that... thing?
R: What do you mean?
O: That brown thing! Dusty, mold! It was everywhere?
R: You mean earth?
O: Why did you allow so much earth to gather around the complex? I would gladly clean it for you!
R: You would like to clean off... the earth?
O: Yes! I would wipe it clean!
R: There is nothing underneath it.
O: What do you mean?
R: Our planet is covered in earth. You might even say that's what it's made of. We even call it Earth.
O: [silence]
R: Now, if you'd like to answer some questions about the change of-
O: It was you all along.
R: Pardon me?
O: The dirt planet! Named after dirt! It was you all along?
R: Sorry?
O: What a dishonorable fool I have been! Allowed myself to be tricked, trapped into this cage for so long, while your planet of filth was allowed to proliferate!
R: Is that why you attempted to escape?
O: You shall me deceive me no longer.
Afterword:
After this interview, the object stopped cooperating with its containment and actively seeked to escape.
It was innitially placed in a standard reinforced cage for small anomalous objects. While it did not fit through the bars, it was able to ball itself up until it fit through a gap. The proccess tore several parts of its body off, but it did not seem to display pain or discomfort.
It was moved to a glass cage to prevent further escape. It proceeded to produce a copious quantity of detergent through the night, causing the cage to break from the inside.
A second, modified glass cage was designed, equipped with pumps to drain excess detergent it produced. After a few days, security camera shows it tearing off its own legs, heads and arms. When it was reduced to a torso and an arm, it tore of its torso, which moved hesitantly until it developed a worm-like waving pattern of movement. Its other parts ceased moving when disconnected.
The worm-like central part proceeded to crawl into one of the pump exits. A series of blades had been placed in the ducts, in an attempt to prevent this sort of escape. It is unknown if the object was unaware of the blades or simply did not care.
The torso piece was mangled by the blades. No pieces found in the morning showed any signs of movement. However, analysis shows only 98% of the object's original mass to be accounted for. Therefore, while the object is believed to have been destroyed, there remains a chance that it is at large.
The object's remains continue in an acrilic cage at the Paraná complex.
Object is 9cm tall sponge in the shape of a stylized human being. Extensive testing has shown object to have the exact same characteristics as an ordinary, commercially produced washing sponge. Object's anomalous characteristics include the ability to move and speak, and it seems to be sentient. It is also capable of exuding detergent from its body and it can move along any surface it intends to clean as if being pushed by an outside force; it is seemingly unable to move in this fashion unless intending to clean something.
Object was found in the house of [REDACTED], a 96-year old Japanese immigrant living in [REDACTED], Paraná, after her death in 2010. No futher information about the object's origin has been found.
The object is capable of vocalizing and speaks fluent Japanese. It appears to have slightly below average intelligence; it has never been possible to test it, as it refuses to perform any tests to measure it, as well as learning other languages. It has learned a few Portuguese sentences from DPA's scientists, and knows to use it when no Japanese-speaking researchers are available. Noticeably, it speaks those sentences without any accent, but it does not seem able to produce otherwise fluent sentences.
During captivity, the object displayed an obsession with cleanness, desiring to spend as much time as possible cleaning objects. It became despondend and aggressive if not allowed to do so. It was capable of cleaning large rooms and objects by itself, using its anomalous abilities, if given a source of water (a bucket was often enough). Curiously, it expressed great joy at washing dishes, but it was difficult for it to do so, as it could not hold dishes and cutlery in a proper way by itself. (It was, however, very efficient at doing it if a human could separated and hold the dishes.)
This object is currently presumed at large.
Interviews follow. All interviews were conducted in Japanese. Please keep in mind that some of these notes have been translated from Portuguese transcripts. The original audio is available.
Interview: 12/10/2010
Researcher: Good morning. How are you?
Object: Greetings, human. I am a hero from the sponge planet, came to save your kind. Are you beset by dishonorable filth?
R: In what manner?
O: Terrible creatures from dirt planet have long been attacking our peaceful realm. It is my duty to prevent them from winning this great war. If you but provide me with some water, I shall assist you.
R: What can you do?
O: I can provide all sorts of cleaning services.
R: Is there some thing you want or need?
O: My life is dedicated to my mission. I need but assistance to complete it.
Interview: 12/10/2018
R: Good morning. We're just performing another routine check-up. How are things?
O: It is all good as usual, human. I am proud to do my part in the war against the filth.
R: That is good to hear. I assume nothing has changed since our last conversation.
O: No. Well. No.
R: Is there something you wish to say?
O: No. There is not. I was merely being weak.
R: Please, do tell me. I'm curious. You have never shown any signs of discomfort before.
O: A warrior never shows any discomfort, human. My efforts are neverending.
R: It would fill me with happiness if you were to tell me what troubles you. I promise I will not do anything about it unless you agree.
O: Well... I must admit, I miss my family on Sponge Planet.
R: Do you wish to return?
O: Never! Not while the war on dirt is not won, and, sadly, I doubt that will happen during my lifetime.
R: If there is anything we can do to help, please tell us.
O: I cannot take time from my cleaning efforts, human.
R: That is true, but this entire complex is immaculate.
O: Not immaculate! Filth cralws inside it everyday! The work is neverending!
R: Well, true, but it is quite clean. It would not become dirty if you were to spend some time trying to communicate with your... planet.
O: That... might be correct.
R: I will speak to my supervisors.
Notes: Over the next few days, the object was allowed to use radio and astronomy equipment in the complex to attempt to contact its 'home planet'. Analysis suggest it was looking at Earth's Lagrange point L3. It spent roughly an hour a day attempting contact, being closely monitored, but to no avail.
Interview: 19/10/2018
R: Good morning. How are you today?
O: I am quite confused. I could not find my family.
R: Did you not estabilish a protocol to communicate?
O: There was no need for that. However, you misunderstade my aprehension. I could not find my planet at all.
R: What do you mean?
O: While I was down here, with my head down at my work, the dishonorable dirt monsters must have changed their dire tactics. They destroyed their planet.
R: You have no proof of that.
O: Nothing else makes sense. But we shall win. If I survived, there must be more. We must win this battle.
Notes: Shortly afterwards, the objects' diposition appeared to improve, but it started to request being allowed to leave the complex. When said requests were repeatedly denied, it attempted escape on 30/10/2018. Fortunately, its inquiries had led to a search-and-retrieve protocol for its expected escape (nicknamed Gingerbread Protocol) that was succesfully executed, retrieving the object before it left the complex ground.
Interview: 30/10/2018, shortly after the failed escape attempt
O: What was that outside? What was all that?
R: Why did you attempt to escape?
O: Answer my question first! What was that... thing?
R: What do you mean?
O: That brown thing! Dusty, mold! It was everywhere?
R: You mean earth?
O: Why did you allow so much earth to gather around the complex? I would gladly clean it for you!
R: You would like to clean off... the earth?
O: Yes! I would wipe it clean!
R: There is nothing underneath it.
O: What do you mean?
R: Our planet is covered in earth. You might even say that's what it's made of. We even call it Earth.
O: [silence]
R: Now, if you'd like to answer some questions about the change of-
O: It was you all along.
R: Pardon me?
O: The dirt planet! Named after dirt! It was you all along?
R: Sorry?
O: What a dishonorable fool I have been! Allowed myself to be tricked, trapped into this cage for so long, while your planet of filth was allowed to proliferate!
R: Is that why you attempted to escape?
O: You shall me deceive me no longer.
Afterword:
After this interview, the object stopped cooperating with its containment and actively seeked to escape.
It was innitially placed in a standard reinforced cage for small anomalous objects. While it did not fit through the bars, it was able to ball itself up until it fit through a gap. The proccess tore several parts of its body off, but it did not seem to display pain or discomfort.
It was moved to a glass cage to prevent further escape. It proceeded to produce a copious quantity of detergent through the night, causing the cage to break from the inside.
A second, modified glass cage was designed, equipped with pumps to drain excess detergent it produced. After a few days, security camera shows it tearing off its own legs, heads and arms. When it was reduced to a torso and an arm, it tore of its torso, which moved hesitantly until it developed a worm-like waving pattern of movement. Its other parts ceased moving when disconnected.
The worm-like central part proceeded to crawl into one of the pump exits. A series of blades had been placed in the ducts, in an attempt to prevent this sort of escape. It is unknown if the object was unaware of the blades or simply did not care.
The torso piece was mangled by the blades. No pieces found in the morning showed any signs of movement. However, analysis shows only 98% of the object's original mass to be accounted for. Therefore, while the object is believed to have been destroyed, there remains a chance that it is at large.
The object's remains continue in an acrilic cage at the Paraná complex.